Dams hold back the Chucks

     The Woodlawn Woodchucks just couldn't quite break the Austin Dams.  It may have been the closest game for the Woodchucks all season.  The final score, 35-27 doesn't show how close this game was.  Both teams played well and the Chucks looked like a true team last night.  Tehy showcased flashy passes and snatched down a ton of rebounds.  This effort just wasn't enouh. 
      This game was sure to be the bloodiest game of the season, The Chucks' Colin Mahon took two incredibly hard falls and lost nearly a pint of blood.  After ten minutes in the Furman Garden's medical center he came back to the court and managed to pull down an astonishing 9 rebounds.

Woodchucks: 27

A. Furman: 16 points, 9 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal, 4 blocks, 2 3PM
Mahon: 2 points, 9 rebounds, 1 assist
Martinez: 9 points, 6 rebounds, 2 assists, 3 steals, 2 blocks, 1 3PM
C. Furman: 1 rebound

Dams: 35

S. Furman: 20 points, 5 rebounds, 2 steals, 1 block
VanSickles: 6 points, 11 rebounds
Cockler: 9 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 block, 1 3PM
Borro: 1 rebound

Juggalos roll over disgraceful Chins

It was a dark day for the CML. The story of the Crimson Chins, which had been so uplifting at the beginning of the season, has turned sour.  Their conduct before, during, and after their 33-14 loss to the 872 Juggalos was an embarrassment to the CML.  For some reason, they thought it was OK to stand on the court while the Woodchucks-Dams game was in progress.  They didn't necessarily do anything morally wrong during their own game, but their play was just abominable.  Between their turnovers, (Mr. Sherry commented that they were nearly all unforced) several goal-tending calls, and a couple beached whales, the Chins put together a performance that could only be described as Woodchuck-esque. But the worst was yet to come.  After the game, Chins players Jesse Lincoln and JT Maynard attempted to falsify the statsheet, giving themselves inflated totals in points and steals.  Fortunately they were caught, and the correct totals were restored. The CML commissioners will be deciding on appropriate disciplinary action.

Gibson- 21 pts, 14 rebs, 2 steals, 1 3pm

Hershey- 8 pts, 5 rebs, 2 asts, 2 blks

Brown- 4 pts, 8 rebs, 1 ast, 1 stl

Maynard- 3 pts, 3 rebs,1 3pm

Lincoln- 3 pts, 2 rebs, 2 asts, 1 blk, 1 3pm

Ott- 6 pts, 5 rebs, 3 blks

Elenchin- 2 pts, 4 rebs, 1 blk

Rt. 6 Rancheros 31 Hebron 28ers 24

The Rancheros continue a great season and officially take the lead in the North Division moving to 3-1. The Hebron 28ers led today by Chris Rigas drop to 2-2, but everyone's thoughts are with Jacob Lincoln tonight. The protagonist of the best selling novel, Fearless, was diagnosed with torn ankle ligaments today and is out indefinatly. Unfortunately for the 28ers, this may hurt their chances for a playoff run, but only time will tell. They will be allowed to pick up another player of their choice (approved by the commissioners) to play until Lincoln returns. Heres today's stats:

Rt. 6 Rancheros 31

• Cumby: 2 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists
• Hutcheson: 10 points, 11 rebounds, 2 assists, 2 blocks
• Freeman: 19 points, 11 rebounds, 2 assists

Hebron 28ers 24

• Rigas: 12 points, 12 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 block, 1 steal
• Forney: 6 points, 1 rebounds, 1 block, 1 steal, 2 3PM
• Jones-Herrera: 6 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, 2 3PM

Today's Games

5:30 Chins @ Juggalos

5:55 Woodchucks @ Dams

6:20 28ers @ Rancheros

CML Hunger Games

If we held our very own Hunger Games with the 22 players who have participated in CML games, who would win? Here are my predictions.

Favorite: Gibson.  Not the most creative choice, but the man is a born killer.  He's basically been training his whole life for the Hunger Games: he hunts all the time, plays a lot of COD, chucks frogs in the fire, and disembowels cats.  The rest of us would have to gang up on him to have any chance.

Dark Horse: Scott Furman. Scott doesn't fear anything.  He's sustained major injuries jumping off his swingset and riding a lawnmower down the hill by his house.  His apparent disregard for pain could keep him fighting when other competitors would just give up.

No Chance: Alex Hershey. Hershey seems cold and calculating on the outside, but he has a heart of gold. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Plus, he's slow to react to new developments.

Feel free to post your own predictions in the comments.

Mr. Maxnord's Farm

James Thaddeus Maxnord IV is famous for his exploits on the basketball court, but his true passion lies elsewhere.  At his house in the countryside near Coudersport, the Crimson Chins' point guard raises 13 goats.  He spends virtually every waking moment caring for his goats, and he spares no expense.  The whole nine yards, if you will. Every Christmas he gives them each a hand-knitted sweater. The grass they sleep on is special bluegrass imported from Kentucky, the same kind that is used by major league baseball teams in the outfield.

As a child, James Thaddeus was a bit socially awkward.  "The other kids picked on him," says his mother.  "They kept calling him JT.  Such a vulgar name." One day, James Thaddeus' parents took him to a petting zoo.  The moment boy and goat made eye contact, there was a connection.  "His eyes were so comforting and understanding," says James.  "I knew I had found a true friend."  At their son's insistence, the Maxnords bought the goat from the petting zoo.  Then, they acquired a female goat, and soon after, babies.  The youngest goats James cares for today are the great-grandchildren of his first friends.

"Goats are beautiful, intelligent animals," says James Thaddeus. "I think they understand me better than people do.  Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is knowing that my goats will be waiting at the door to welcome me home."  His Crimson Chin teammates are understanding of his passion, if a little amused.  Says Jesse Lincoln, "James is a very talented player, so we accept the fact that he's a complete nutcase."

Possible Substance Abuse Within The CML?

In light of the new NBA-style rule about hanging on the rim I have decided to delve into the dark side of the CML, the possible substance abuse. I have been hanging around team locker rooms lately, and all the guys admit that doping is becoming an issue. Steroid use was introduced to the league by Zac "The Crimson Chin" Elenchin, when he passed on the anabolic steroids to Zach Cumby after the Ranchero vs. Crimson Chins preseason game. Late addition to the league, Josiah "The Centaur" Ott, is rumored to be addicted to Human Growth Hormone, or HGH. This would explain his freakish height and ability to shove away defenders with his infamous left forearm shiver. Probably the only certain substance abuser in the CML is 872 Juggalo Jason Gibson. Gibson has been battling addiction to horse adrenaline for years, and he is an avad fan of the Insane Clown Posse (he is a Juggalo if you will.) ICP is not a band for the faint of heart, or the "recreational" drug user, it is for only the most hardcore of people. However, the most shocking of all the players I will not name, but it has been rumored that this 6' tall Chin who has yet to score is searching for a "steroids guy". He is frustrated with his inability to drive in traffic and plow defenders like Robert Traylor. Anyone who knows of any possible doping incidents within the CML should call the anonymous CML drug hotline, or contact me at @afurman16 on Twitter.

Juggalos 38 28ers 26

It was always going to be an uphill battle for the Hebron 28ers without Jake Lincoln.  They gave a valiant effort, but the undefeated Juggalos were too much for them in the end.  MVP frontrunner Jason Gibson had 24 points, 12 rebounds, and 5 assists, and Alex Hershey added 14 points.  They were also aided by refereeing that can only be described as a combination of Bill Howard's arrogance and Frank the DJ's complete incompetence.  Chris Rigas had 16 points for the 28ers.

Rigas: 16 points, 6 rebounds, 1 assist, 3 steals, 2 blocks

Jones-Herrera: 3 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 3PM

Forney: 5 points, 2 rebounds, 3 steals, 1 3PM

Brown: 2 points, 5 rebounds, 2 steals

Hershey: 14 points, 6 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 steal, 1 block

Gibson: 24 points, 12 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals, 1 block

CML Official Standings!

North Division:

1. RT. 6 Rancheros 2-1
2. Hebron 28ers 1-2
3. Woodlawn Woodchucks 0-3

South Division

1. 872 Juggalos 3-0
2. Cartee Street Crimson Chins 2-1
3. Austin Dams 1-2



Overall:

1. 872 Juggalos 3-0
2. Cartee Street Crimson Chins 2-1
3. Rt. 6 Rancheros 2-1
4. Hebron 28ers 1-2
5. Austin Dams 1-2
6. Woodlawn Woodchucks 0-3

Statistical game of the year? Woodchucks v. Rancheros

It is already being referred to as the blowout of the century, as the Rancheros of Route 6 cruise past the atrocious Woodchucks 63 to 26. No folks that is not a typo, the Rancheros won by 37 points in a 16 minute game. The Woodchucks could not get the shots to fall early, and when they finally started to drop it was far too late. On the other hand, it seems as though the Rancheros could not miss. Mitch Freeman led the charge with a Walt Bellamy-like performance logging 30 points and 24 rebounds. Alex Hutcheson wasn't far back with 21 points and 16 rebounds (16 rebounds would have been a single game CML record had it not been for Freeman's performance.) No one was surprised by this one, and this has helped the Rancheros get in great position 3 games into the year.

Rt. 6 Rancheros 63

• Hutcheson- 21 points, 16 rebounds, 7 assists, 1 steal, 1 block, 1 3PM
• Cumby- 12 points, 4 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals, 1 block, 4 3PM
• Freeman- 30 points, 24 rebounds, 3 assists

Woodlawn Woodchucks 26

• Furman- 22 points, 9 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal, 1 block, 6 3PM
• Martinez- 4 points, 6 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 block
• Mahon- 3 rebounds, 1 assist

Player of the Game: Mitch Freeman

And The Chins Go Down!

Chinsanity is officially over ladies and gentlemen.  The Austin Dams defended thier home court very well this evening.  The final score ended up being 25-13.  Both teams played with a lot of heart, this is a truly sad day for the always confident Crimson Chins.  The Dams balanced out their scoring well and played like a solid team.  Their #1 scorer Cameron Cockler was not even present for this game, but Ty Borro stepped up.  The Player of the Game award goes to Ty Borro for a solid performance on both sides of the court.  Without Ty's performance the Chins would've surely kept their streak alive.  Ty showed some serious defensive effort tonight with five steals and two monster blocks.  The Chins' offense was poor tonight, with no points from both JT Maynard and Zack Elenchin.

Austin Dams-25

VanSickles- 9 points    11 rbs     3 assts      1 3PM
S. Furman- 8 points      11 rbs     2 blocks   5 steals
Borro- 8 points      3 rbs        2 assts      2 blocks   5 steals

Cartee St. Crimson Chins-13

Maynard- 0 points    4 rbs     1 steals
Elenchin- 0 points      3 rbs    3 steals
Jesse Lincoln- 5 points      6 rbs     1 3PM
Ott- 8 points     7 rbs      1 block    

Player of the Game- Ty Borro

Tonights Games
Rancheros @ Woodchucks 5:30 ET
Crimson Chins @ Dams   5:50 ET
Juggalos @ 28'ers    6:10 ET

Juggalos 34 Woodchucks 18

Before the final game of the day, Alex Hershey was overheard saying, "We don't need a plan.  We're playing the Chucks."  His team proved him right, as the Juggalos coasted to a 16-point victory without breaking a sweat.  Gibson posted a double-double: 18 points and 14 rebounds, a single game CML record.  Hershey added 14 points.  Furman had 10 for the hapless Chucks.

Furman: 10 pts, 7 rebs, 2 asts, 2 stls, 1 blk, 2 3pm

Martinez: 8 pts, 8 rebs, 1 stl

Mahon: 5 rebs, 1 stl

Gibson: 18 pts, 14 rebs, 4 asts, 1 stl, 2 blks

Hershey: 14 pts, 8 rebs, 4 asts, 3 stls, 2 blks

Brown: 2 pts, 6 rebs, 1 ast, 1 stl, 1 blk

The Nail-Biter at the Garden

Rt. 6 Rancheros 35              Austin Dams 34

It truly was a game for the ages tonight.  It came down to the wire and a last second 3 by Ranchero Zach Cumby was the game winner as the clock ticked its final seconds. Stellar performances by both teams in a game that saw the CML record for most points scored by a player in one game. Alex Hutcheson led his team to the late victory with an impressive double double, and a defensive game rivaled only by former CML star Chris Mullen. Cameron Cockler was the Dams go to man for the night and with play like this he should be asking for a raise. Enough talk, here are the stats:

Rt. 6 Rancheros 35

Hutcheson- 24 points, 10 rebounds, 1 steal, 4 3PM
Freeman- 8 points, 10 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 block, 1 steal
Cumby- 3 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, 1 3PM




Austin Dams 34

S. Furman- 7 points, 4 rebounds, 1 block, 1 steal, 1 3PM
Van Sickles- 8 points, 10 rebounds, 3 assists, 1 block, 2 steals
Borro- 2 points, 1 rebound, 1 assist, 1 steal
Cockler- 17 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal


Player of the Game: Alex Hutcheson

Chins Win Again!  Upset or Championship Contenders?

      The Crimson Chins managed to notch another win today over the Hebron 28'ers.  This win comes almost a week after their win over the Woodchucks.  The game was not a high scoring affair(22-17) and only one three was made all night.  Hebron just did not come out hot today, their strong shooter Jacab Lincoln didn't even score his only three points until late in the second half.  Hebron's Chris Rigas did his best to keep his team in it with 12 points, but to no avail.  This season has really turned around quickly for the Chins, after losing by thirty in the preseason they pulled together and are now atop the league standings.  Jesse Lincoln had a day to remember, recording a season high 12 points and 7 rebounds. Jesse's dominating performance was enough to not only cement a victory, but earn him his first ever Player of The Game award.  Josiah Ott was the only other Chin to score with 10 points.  This win comes without the spiritual leader Zack Elenchin, which makes it even more impressive. As of right now I'm calling this game an upset, but if the winning streak continues they might just be the best team in the league.  
      After this win I am a thourough believer in the "Crimson Chin Pride". 

Chins

Ott- 10 pts   8 rebs   2 blocks
Maynard- 6 rebs   6 assists  1 block   1 steal
Jesse Lincoln- 12 points    7 rebs    2 assists     1 steal
     team     22 points     21 rebs   8 assists   3 blocks   2 steals  0 3PM

28'ers

Rigas-12points  9 rebs   1 assist    1 steal
Jacob Lincoln- 3 points    3 rebs    1 assist    1 block     2 steals   1 3PM
Forney- 2 points     4 rebs    1 block 
Jones-Herrera - 1 reb   1 steal
   team- 17 points  17 rebs    2 assists  4 steals   2 blocks   1 3PM

Santiago's Shocking Secret

There had always been rumors about Santiago Martinez, with his perfectly tousled hair and unnecessary glasses, but today, the Woodchucks star made it official. He is a hipster. His admission sent shockwaves around the entire CML. While many fans seem to be supportive, one Woodchucks fan grumbled, “I can’t root for one of… those people. It’s just not natural.”

Martinez knew that his revelation would cause a controversy, but he felt that being true to himself was worth the hardship. “I couldn’t keep living a lie,” he says. “It was eating away at my soul. I was born a hipster; that’s just who I am. I hope people can accept that.”

George Wyatt, who came out as a hipster a couple years ago, has some advice for Martinez. “It gets better,” he says. “There’s a whole community of hipsters out there who can give him support and comfort.”

Thankfully, the reaction of his teammates and opponents has been overwhelmingly supportive. “I think it’s incredibly brave of him,” says Hebron’s Jake Lincoln. “Almost Jackie Robinson-esque.” “He should know that this doesn’t change the way we feel about him,” fellow Woodchuck Alex Furman says, as a single tear rolls down his cheek. “He will always be my teammate.”

Today's Games

5:00  Austin Dams @ The Rt. 6 Rancheros

5:30  872 Juggalos @ Woodlawn Woodchucks

6:00  Hebron 28ers @ The Crimson Chins

Scouting

The CML commissioners took a trip to Pittsburgh to scout NCAA games for potential free agents.  Here are some of their observations.

Jared Sullinger, Center, Ohio State


Notes: Sullinger showcased a markedly improved outside shot on his way to 18 points in an Ohio State victory. However, he got into foul trouble early and wasn’t a dominant force inside.

Verdict: Will help any team with his size and skill, but could be troubled by longer players, such as Josiah Ott.

Projected Destination: The 28ers will sign Sullinger in a bid to bring some much-needed physicality and rebounding.

David Stockton, Guard, Gonzaga


Notes: The diminutive point guard made several good passes and controlled the tempo for Gonzaga during his limited minutes. Unfortunately, his lack of size and athleticism was exposed several times.

Verdict: Will be a liability on defense, but his vision and passing ability will make everyone on his team better.

Projected Destination: The Rancheros will sign Stockton to distribute the ball between their talented scorers.

Scoop Jardine, Guard, Syracuse


Notes: The best and worst of the talented guard were on display. In the first half, Jardine struggled, making several inexplicable passes and missing ill-advised jumpers. In the second half, he came up with steals, hit pull up threes, and made beautiful dump-down passes.

Verdict: Jardine is not consistent enough for the CML. Only the most desperate of teams would take a risk on him.

Projected Destination: The Woodchucks will sign Jardine.

Jordan Henriquez, Forward, Kansas State


Notes: Henriquez averaged only 7 points and 5 rebounds this year, but the 6-11 junior really impressed against Syracuse, scoring 14 points and grabbing 17 rebounds. His combination of athleticism and effort made him the best player on the floor.

Verdict: His toughness will make him an excellent role player in the CML.
Projected Destination: The Dams will add Henriquez to a lineup that is already the most athletic in the league.

Hershey puts team on his back.

In a clash of titans, the 872 Juggalos defeated the preseason favorites, the Rt. 6 Rancheros.  Alex Hershey was clearly the difference, scoring 20 points and adding 4 steals and 3 rebounds.  The rest of the players were rather mediocre, so I won't write about them.  You can find their stats below, if you are a fan of averageness.

Alex Hutcheson- 9 points, 3 assists, 1 block, 1 steal, 8 rebounds, and 1 three.

Zach Cumby- 14 points, 1 steal, 3 rebounds, 4 threes

Mitch Freeman- 13 points, 1 assist, 2 blocks, 2 steals, 8 rebounds, and 1 three

Jason Gibson- 17 points, 3 assists, 2 blocks, 2 steals, 9 rebounds, and 1 three

Jim Brown- 0 points, 1 assist, 3 steals, and 3 rebounds



Film

Chins for the Win!

       The air was warm and the sun was setting on Wednesday night as the Cartee St. Crimson Chins stormed off the court celebrating their victory.  Nobody outside the Chins organization thought that they would be chalking up a win this early in the season, if ever.  The infamous "Crimson Chin Pride" was evident throughout the game, especially when they jumped to the 6-0 lead. Without a doubt the acquisition of Josiah Ott, who proved to be unstoppable down low scoring 18 points and securing 6 rebounds, was a huge factor in this game.  Josiah's stat line was awesome enough to land him Player of The Game honors.  The defense from both teams was mediocre, although the Chins combined for an impressive 8 steals.  Zach Elenchin scored 10 points, 6 of those off of 3 pointers.  Zack had a pretty pathetic showing in the preseason, but came out hot agaisnt the Chucks.  He managed to get 8 rebounds, 4 steals, and 2 assists. Jesse Lincoln also came out strong establishing himself as a pointguard figure with a team high 3 assists.  Jesse threw down 4 points and nabbed 6 rebounds.  Jesse's feisty defense earned him 2 steals and a block.  J.T. Maxnord must have had sore fingers from W.O.W because he didn't managed to find the net at all, collecting 1 assist and 5 rebounds.  The season looks bright for the Chins, so watch out CML the Cartee St. Crimson Chins are coming, and they show no signs of slowing down. 
         The final score of 32-18 really shows Alex Furman's hustle.  The big man was the only thing the Woodchucks had going for them tonight.  Alex scored all 18 points while managing to pull down a game high 9 rebounds.  He also led his team in steals(4) followed closely by the uncharacteristically quiet Colin Mahon(3).  This was an embarassing showing for the Woodlawn Woodchucks who had to substitute Austin Ricke for Santiago Martinez.  It is unfortunate for the fans that Santiago went missing, the Martinez v. Ott matchup would have been a battle for sure.  Austin Ricke did not quite play up to expectations, scoring no points and only pulling in 2 rebounds.  If the Chucks can work on their chemistry they will manage to be contenders. It is clear that Furman is going for the scoring title, so teams will surely attempt to lock him down, but I think Colin Mahon will get back on his game and establish himself as a threat down low.  who knows, maybe Santiago will even show up next game to help them out.

Cartee St Crimson Chins

• Player              Points          Rebounds         Assists      Blocks        Steals       3's made
• Jesse Lincoln     4                     6                     3                1                 2               0
• J.T. Maxnord     0                     5                     1                1                 0               0
• Zach Elenchin   10                   8                     2                 0                4                2
• Josiah Ott         18                   6                     1                 1                 2               0
• total         32               25                7                    3               8              2 

Woodlawn Woodchucks

• Alex Furman     18                   9                      0                0                  4               3
• Colin Mahon      0                    4                      0                0                  3               0
• Austin Ricke      0                    2                      1                1                  0               0
• total         18                  15                   1               1                7             3

Game Film

Hebron 28ers Vs. Austin Dams Post-Game Wrap-up

Hebron 28ers 24               Austin Dams 18

It was a true battle at the Garden today to kick off the regular season extravaganza. Although the score was separated by 6 points it seemed closer watching from the stands (which were filled to capacity of about 16 people. It was a low scoring affair-- a superb defensive battle-- that would entertain those that could keep their eyes open throughout the whole thing. Yet I digress. Jake Lincoln of the 28ers was the MVP of the preseason and he attempted to defend his title, but it wouldn't be without opposition. Scott Furman had a good defensive game while Aaron VanSickles dominated the boards. All in all, it was a great way to kick off the season, and we hope to see more great games in the future!

Hebron 28ers 24

• Rigas: 6 points, 5 rebounds, 3 steals
• Ja. Lincoln: 8 points, 10 rebounds, 2 assists, 5 blocks, 1 steal
• Forney: 4 points, 4 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 block, 1 steal 

Austin Dams

• S. Furman: 10 points, 5 rebounds, 2 blocks, 2 steals
• VanSickles: 2 points, 8 rebounds, 1 assist
• Cockler: 8 points, 5 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal

Keep in mind the 28ers were giving a 6 point lead to start the game due to a missing player punishment

Game Film

Player of the Game: Jacob Lincoln

Ninja and Me: The heartwarming tale of a basketball star and his dog.

These days, Trey Borro rarely picks up a basketball, even to simply shoot around. It's just too painful.  He can never again play the sport which once meant everything to him.  For those who watched him play, it's strange to see a legend reduced to filming CML games.

From the time he first dunked at the age of 9, everyone knew Trey was special.  "He had it all," says Scott Furman.  "Athleticism, shooting touch, court vision.  Everyone just kind of got out of his way."  "He was humble, too," adds Zach Elenchin.  "If you just ran into him on the street, you would never know that this person was the next LeBron James.  It was just a lot different than my typical experience with basketball stars."

For a long time, it seemed as though Trey lived a charmed life.  Then one day, he got the news.  His dog, Ninja, was dying of kidney failure.  Then Trey found out that his kidney was a match.  "I knew right away what I had to do," says Trey.  But if he donated his kidney, he would only have one left, which would mean he would have to give up basketball.  It would be too dangerous to play with only one kidney.

"Giving up my basketball career was the hardest thing I ever had to do," he says.  "Sometimes I wonder..." At that moment Ninja jumps on him and plants wet kisses all over his face.  After freeing himself he says, "I know I made the right decision."

Wednesday's Schedule

Austin Dams @ Hebron 28'ers - 5:30ET/2:30PT at the Furman Garden
Woodlawn Woodchucks @ Cartee St. Chins - 5:50ET/2:50PT at the Furman Garden
872 Juggalos @ Rt. 6 Rancheros - 6:10ET/ 3:10PT at the Furman Garden

This is the start of the regular season, so if you are missing a player you may pick a player to fill in. The commisioners will consider this player for approval, we will also determine the handicap imposed on your team.

Bring your money for the concession stand

First five fans will recieve a free Chris Rigas autograph

Our Founding Fathers

Eightscore and 8 hours ago, our fathers brought forth in this town a new basketball league, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men can dunk, if you lower the hoop far enough. It would do us all good to remember some of their wise utterances.



“The only thing we have to corect is corect itself.”

-Twaan



“I have a dream that one day I will live in a nation where I will not be judged by my ambiguous genitalia, but by the content of my character.

-Hutch



“There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free--if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending--if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained--we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of hosts is all that is left us! They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength but irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. The millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable--and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.

It is in vain, sir, to extentuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace--but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death! Just kidding.”

-Alex

Fearless: The Jake Lincoln Story

     



          Swish. Jake Lincoln hits yet another jump shot.  It's an hour after his 18-point 12-rebound performance that earned him CML preseason player of the week, and everyone else has long left the court.  It's almost dark, and you wonder how he even manages to see the basket.  Still, he makes just about every shot.
          Lincoln has been an underdog ever since he was born.  He never had a father; it was just him, his twin brother Jesse, and their mom. He grew up on Cartee Street, one of the worst neighborhoods in Coudersport.  He heard gunshots almost every day, and after the first time he was mugged he didn't leave the house without a baseball bat.  A lot of kids from Cartee Street don't live to be juniors in high school, let alone become superstar basketball players. 
          So how did a kid from the wrong side of the figurative tracks rise so quickly to CML stardom? Not without adversity.  His passion for basketball helped him avoid the gang and drug-dealing scenes of his neighborhood, but he wasn't always a star.  As a freshman, Lincoln barely saw the court for the Coudersport JV team.  During that summer he literally slept in the high school gym, waking up every morning to make 1000 jumpers before eating a breakfast of raw egg whites, crushed nails, and celery juice.  The dedication paid off, and as a sophomore Jake carried the JV team, especially in a memorable double-overtime game with Oswayo Valley.  He hit several threes in the closing minutes, and though his team came up short, he was well on his way to stardom.
          However, Lincoln still had some challenges in the academic world.  A couple of his teachers didn't think he would ever amount to anything.  One told him that he was "pushing all the wrong buttons."  He hit rock bottom when he didn't achieve proficient on the Foresight tests and was placed in Math Rehab.  But Jake was undaunted, and with the same persistence and dedication that had served him so well on the court, he pulled his grades up. He worked his way out of Math Rehab, repaired his relationships with his teachers, and is now well on his way to academic first-team.
          Back to the court now, two hours after Lincoln's star performance. It's pitch dark now; he shoots by pure muscle memory.  After each rare miss he cranks out 10 push-ups, 10 crunches, and 10 up-downs.  He never had anything handed to him.  He had to scratch and claw for every opportunity.   He knows that if he doesn't give his all, he might end up right back where he started.  Maybe that's why he fights so hard for every rebound.  Whatever the reason, the CML is lucky to have him.

Regular Season Outlook

After last night's epic preseason showdown I have come up with an outlook on the regular season.
The 872 Juggalos will come out hot, winning atleast four in a row, but gibson will get frustrated and bored midway through the season and they will lose some easy games.

The Austin Dams won't quite come together as a team, but will have a winning record. If VanSickles ever gets over his illness they will be contenders, but until then they will lose several very close games

The Hebron 28ers are going to take control of the league, Steven Forney is an unexpected defensive threat and might lead the league in steals, I do forsee a loss to the Dams

The Woodlawn Woodchucks will struggle early in the season but come alive after the all star break and maintain an impressive winning streak, finishing just below .500

The Rancheros will win some games

The Cartee St Crimson Chins will lose their first seven games, but they won't let that get to them, they will prove that they have heart and will upset some of the leagues best.

Gossip Roundup

Santiago Martinez was caught smooching Jason Gibson's ladyfriend.  This is sure to create tension between the Woodchucks and the Juggalos.  When I asked Martinez for a comment on the incident he said, "That's my bad. In my defense, it's kind of hard to keep track of Gibson's women.  Maybe he should mark them in some way so we know to steer clear. How about a hat?"

Commissioner Hutch is a closeted hermaphrodite. (Thanks for the tip Woodchucks Fan)

Mitch Freeman lost his favorite blankie.  He is very upset.

After his huge performance in the preseason, Steven Forney has tested positive for steroids.

The Crimson Chins are experiencing some team dissension after their embarassing preseason loss.  Zach Elenchin is considering leaving the pact.

Preseason Results!

Hey guys good preseason. Here are the results:

Juggalos 28 Austin Dams 19

• Gibson: 16 points, 7 rebounds, 1 assist, 1 steal
• Hershey: 10 points, 7 rebounds, 5 steals, 1 block, 3 assists
• Brown: 2 points, 7 rebounds, 2 steals

• Furman: 9 points, 4 assists, 3 rebounds, 3 blocks, 3 steals, 1 3PM
• Cockler: 8 points, 2 assists, 6 rebounds, 1 block
• Borro: 2 points, 3 rebounds 

Hebron 28ers 44 Woodlawn Woodchucks 21

• Rigas: 22 points, 2 rebounds, 5 assists, 2 steals
• Ja. Lincoln: 18 points, 12 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals
• Forney: 4 points, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, 5 steals

• Furman: 7 points, 2 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 block, 4 steals, 1 3PM
• Mahon: 6 points, 6 rebounds, 2 assists, 1 steal
• Martinez: 8 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal, 2 3PM

Rt. 6 Rancheros 37 CS Crimson Chins 8

• Hutcheson: 4 points, 2 assists, 10 rebounds, 1 block
• Freeman: 16 points, 1 assist, 10 rebounds
• Cumby: 17 points, 1 assist, 5 rebounds, 1 steal, 5 3PM

• Je. Lincoln: 2 points, 9 rebounds, 3 blocks
• Maynard: 3 points, 1 3PM
• Elechin: 3 points, 1 steal, 1 3PM

Player of the Week: Jacob Lincoln

Conferences

North: Hebron, Woodlawn, and Rt. 6
South: Austin, Cartee St., and 872

Zach Cumby is super-excited for his game tomorrow.

An interview* with the Rancheros’ point guard.

Q: Are you ready for your game tomorrow?
Zach: I’m like, super-excited. It’s, like, even more exciting than when I almost tried to sneak into that Justin Bieber concert.

Q: How do you feel about JT Maynard?
Zach: I used to totally love him, but then Jake told me that JT told Colin that my new Uggs looked like wet squirrels. Can you believe that? So now I totally hate him.

Q: How do you feel about Zach Elenchin?
Zach: I love him! We’re, like, bffs. (looks at phone, gasps) I hate him!

Q: How do you feel about Jesse Lincoln?
Zach: Don’t even go there. He is so dead to me (makes a “z” in the air with snaps).

Q: What was your best moment in sports?
Zach: Once, during a basketball game, this cute girl was totally checking me out. Then I made a double-field goal.

Q: I like your hair. When did you start dyeing it?
Zach: This is my natural color! (storms out)

*By interview, I mean I made up all his answers.

Tomorrow's Games! (Preseason)

Austin Dams @ 872 Juggalos* - 5:00ET/2:00PT - At The Furman Garden
Hebron 28ers @ Woodlawn Woodchucks - 5:30ET/2:30PT - At The Furman Garden
Rt. 6 Rancheros @ CS Crimson Chins - 5:00ET/2:00PT- At The Furman Garden

*New Official Name for the Primrose Lane Roses

Everyone be at the court by 4:50 tomorrow to warm up or get things set up. Try to wear some kind of jersey.

Admission - Free

Official Rules Post

Rules:

• 8 Minute Halves
• 8'6" Basket
• 3 on 3
• Girls Ball
• Home Team starts with ball, will be announced before the game.
• Call your own fouls, travels, etc., no foul shots until last 2 minutes of game. That will be one and one.
• Play by standard scoring. (Threes and Twos)

Every game should have a few people there to keep score/stats/time.

7 Bold Predictions

1. Santiago Martinez will have a break-out season. His crossover is so slow, it’s mesmerizing.

2. The Primrose Lane Roses will change their name to something less stupid.

3. Jason Gibson will surprise everyone and make the all academic team. He is really buckling down on his schoolwork.

4. Mitch Freeman will demand a new contract. It will stipulate that he be paid in gold stars, instead of rainbow stickers.

5. Alex Hershey will lead the league in rebounds. His arms are freakishly long and his eyes can pierce your very soul.

6. The Austin Dams will be implicated in a point-shaving scandal, but Aaron VanSickles will disappear mysteriously before he can testify in court.

7. The Chincredible Hulks will make a pact that works in three ways. First, no girlfriends. Second, no drugs. Third, no dunking.

Rt. 6 Rachero's jersey

Rosters!

Cartee Street Chincredible Hulks- Jesse Lincoln, James Maynard, Zach Elenchin

Rt. 6 Rancheros- Alex Hutcheson, Zach Cumby, Mitch Freeman

Hebron 28ers- Twaan Rigas, Jake Lincoln, Steven Forney

Woodlawn Woodchucks- Alex Furman, Colin Mahon, Santiago Martinez

Primrose Lane Roses- Jason Gibson, Alex Hershey, Jim Brown

Austin Dams- Scott Furman, Ty Borro, Aaron VanSickles

POST YOUR POWER RANKING HERE!

Welcome To The CML!

Things are going to get going shortly. We currently have 6 teams. More will be posted as soon as possible.