Thursday, June 6, 2013

Preseason Power Rankings

For this year's rankings, we talked to one player from each team to help us identify their teams' strengths and weaknesses, then we provided our own take on the quote. See if you can guess which player made the comment, then check the answer key at the bottom to see how many you got right.

1. Farringdon Vortex

Roster: John Michael Rigas, Clayton Wilson, Ethan Hite, Scott Furman, and Kyle Bova

Quote: "Was I the first pick?"

The Vortex are easily the most talented team, but they may have some alpha dog issues.

2. Back Road Packers

Roster: Garrett Russell, Andrew Rigas, JT Maynard, Alex Hershey, and Josiah Ott

Quote: "I went to goat rehab this offseason. I never knew that so many other people had the same problem as me. They didn't want the withdrawal to be too bad, so they gave me a series of smaller and smaller mammals to care for. I've been through dogs, cats, foxes, and bats."
Hint: http://coudersportminihoopleague.blogspot.com/2012/03/mr-maxnords-farm.html

This player's well-publicized improvement made him one of the most expensive players in the draft, and he should help the Packers to a successful season.

3.  Rubbertown Gloves

Roster: Tim McCusker, Colin Mahon, Forest Tuttle, Caden Whitman, and Mitch Freeman

Qupte: "Nobody even boobs fell out."

The Gloves will be a great rebounding and defensive team, but their Wonderlics leave something to be desired.

4. Woodlawn Woodchucks

Roster: Alex Furman, Darren Keglovitz, Michael Chambers, Jesse Lincoln, and Philip Andrus

Quote: "He's a monster!" (Referring to Darren Keglovitz' 77-inch wingspan)

Darren and Philip Andrus will need to have productive seasons for the Woodchucks to do better than last year's debacle.

5. Route 6 Rancheros

Roster: Alex Hutcheson, Jeremy Sedorchuck, Jacob Lincoln, Zach Cumby, and Jason Betrand

Quote: "I hate Bertrand."

The Rancheros have the potential to be a very good team, but they may have some chemistry issues.

6. Hebron 28ers

Roster: Chris Rigas, Kyle Clay, Aaron Van Sickles, Jeffery McManus, and Zach Elenchin

Quote: "How could you do this to me Twaan?"

Even their own players know that the 28ers are in for an uphill battle after their captain, Chris Rigas, failed miserably in the draft.












Answer Key: 1. Ethan Hite, 2. JT Maynard, 3. Mitch Freeman, 4. Jesse Lincoln, 5. Jacob Lincoln, 6. Jeffery McManus

Remember to tell us how many you got right in the comments, and feel free to post your own power rankings.

Official 2013 Rosters

Eastern Conference


Rt. 6 Rancheros

Alex Hutcheson
Zach Cumby
Jake Lincoln
Jason Bertrand
Jeremy Sedorchuck

Back Rd. Packers

Garrett Russell
Jimmy Maynard
Andrew Rigas
Alex Hershey
Josiah Ott

Farringdon Vortex

John Michael Rigas
Scott Furman
Clayton Wilson
Kyle Bova
Ethan Hite


Western Conference


Rubbertown Gloves

Tim McCusker
Mitch Freeman
Colin Mahon
Caden Whitman
Forrest Tuttle

Woodlawn Woodchucks

Alex Furman
Darren Keglovits
Phillip Andrus
Michael Chambers
Jesse Lincoln

Hebron 28ers

Chris Rigas
Jeff McManus
Kyle Clay
Zac Elenchin
Aaron VanSickles



Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Sunday, June 2, 2013

"Circuit Training" Theme for CML Combine Rejected

The CML Combine is underway! However, the format for the combine could have been very different. While the league commissioners were determining the tests that they would use to measure the players' basketball skills and athletic ability, they considered a "circuit training" theme, based on the popular gym class activity that Coudersport high school students enthusiastically participate in for approximately six months each year. The combine would have incorporated the same events as circuit training, using five stations: the jumping jacks/push-ups/sit-ups/toe touchers station, the aerobics station, the exercise bike station, the jump rope station, and the jogging station. At first, the commissioners were excited about the proposal, because they thought that the events would give the captains an excellent opportunity to evaluate prospective talent in preparation for the draft. Commissioner Hutch noted that the toe toucher station would be particularly useful, commenting that he "would never draft a player who couldn't complete at least 60 toe touches in a 30 second period, with good technique--no lazy one hand touches count." Commissioner Alex was more interested in the jump rope station, which he claimed would "separate the men from the boys." He went on to complain that, "I see these flashy kids jumping really high and trying to rotate the jump rope twice in one jump, and I wonder why they can't just stick to the fundamentals: one rotation per jump." At the end of the combine, the athletes would have been given a score out of 100, with two points being docked for each instance of lackluster performance, but also for violations of the dress code, such as corporate logos appearing on t-shirts or shorts.

Unfortunately, budgetary concerns prevented the circuit training combine from becoming a reality. The commissioners did not have enough money to pay actual gym teachers to supervise the combine, and they were unable to find suitable replacements. Commissioner Twaan put it this way: "Frankly, I don't trust myself or the other commissioners to stand around, converse, and occasionally threaten to lower an athlete's score because he doesn't have both hands on his exercise bike. I mean, we might be able to do those things, but just not very well, and, unfortunately, we don't have the money to hire professionals. We tried to contact the old lunch ladies, and even Mrs. Barry from study hall, but none of them were willing to do it at our price. It's sad that financial concerns aren't going to allow us to go through with such a great idea."